Rap Video Hoes: Candace Cabrera vs. Lola Luv

Candace Cabrera

 

vs.

Lola Luv



 

_

And the winner is…Candace Cabrera

 

The Assman looooves Candace. That ass is phenomenal! The size, shape, color, are all amazing, scrape that tattoo off and she’s a 10.

Lola has a phat ass, however it looks like two watermelons sitting on toothpicks. I like large hips, thighs, and of course ass. She’s just a skinny (still hot though) girl with an altered fat ass.

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Amazing Ass

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I Like Sports

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Small, but they’ll do

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Shakira

Grade: A

Birth Name: Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll

Born: February 2, 1977

Country: Colombia

Claim to Fame: Singer


What’s needed to improve: Something has to be said for a woman that could fill 10 posts with gifs! She doesn’t have a huge ass, but it is amazing. She also gets points for her skills in booty shaking and overall hip/ass manipulation. I love Colombia.

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Rap Video Hoes: Knasi “Apple” Fox vs. Bianca Simmone

Knasi Fox

 

vs.

Bianca Simmone



 

_

And the winner is…Bianca Simmone

 

This has been the most one-sided matchup so far. Knasi’s ass is large…but it has been years since it’s been in charge. That thing just doesn’t sit right. It’s shape seems to change by the week, one cheek will almost look like it’s pointing at something while the other one sags. The only acceptable ass shots of her are when she’s using her hands to lift it up!

Bianca has an amazing ass (made even better by the airbrushing) and is going in as the favorite to the next round where she’ll face Absolutely Amber!

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Multiples

If one is good three must be better!

I’d love to be a groomsman at this wedding, those bridesmaids are going to be giving it up five minutes after the vows.

In this picture I’m reminded why I love and hate women. The great asses are a given, but their smaller brains make it difficult to follow basic instructions, TURN THE FUCK AROUND #5. I’ve been hanging around my friend Borat too much lately.

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Jennifer Lawrence

Grade: C

Birth Name: Jennifer Shrader Lawrence

Born: August 15, 1990

Country: USA

Claim to Fame: Actress

What's needed to improve: Jennifer is popping up everywhere nowadays, and she is likely to be around for a while yet. She has a decent ass, I’d like it if she could fill out a pair of yoga pants a little better but I can live with it. The biggest concern here is that she’ll be “encouraged” to lose 10 pounds by her people…that could be crippling for her ass and send her down into a D grade.

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Gif Time

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Christina Milian

Grade: B-

Birth Name: Christina Marie Flores

Born: September 26, 1981

Country: USA

Claim to Fame: Singer/Actress

What’s needed to improve: Work! It’d be a shame not to see Christina on TV or movies which is the way things have been going. We need a “Dip it Low pt.2″ on YouTube now!

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